A recent news report suggesting that the dinosaurs were wiped out by a “killer asteroid”, has been challenged by a study released today by the American Sitomania Society (A.S.S.) asserting that what actually accounted for their extinction was an early and disastrous encounter with the now well-known Paleo Diet.
The herbiferous saurians went first, notably the bone-headed dinosaurs (pachysephalosaurs) whose large skull enclosed a very tiny brain, making them easily vulnerable to enticements by wily stone-age nimrods and antedeluvian GOP operatives.
The feathered ones went next because they tasted like turducken, a gastronomic throwback of cretacious-era origin resurrected by Paula Deen on her erstwhile TV series, “Cooking for the Morbidly Obese”, which was cancelled when researchers discovered that her audience was dying off (literally) faster than it could be replaced with new viewers.
It should be noted here that the Paleo regimen is sometimes confused with the homonymic Palio Diet which is of medieval Siennese provenance and refers to the nine unlucky horses that, having lost the annual Palio race, are served up to the unsentimental citizenry of Sienna as Cavallo perdente rustico.